A First I Wish I'd Never Had . . .

Yesterday, I lost my first patient. I'm sure it's something than many PTs deal with on a regular basis. Especially those that are working in the hospital. However, this is my first. It's been an interesting experience for me. It has brought a lot of emotions that I'd never dreamed it would.

The news came yesterday at 11:00 AM. This was not an expected death--he was a healthy 40 year old male. He'd had surgery for a hiatal hernia on Friday. He died of currently unknown causes on Monday morning--he simply didn't wake up. I was seeing him for his knee, and he was nearing the completion of his rehab. He was a very happy, pleasant, and exhuberant man and had become a good friend of mine throughout the course of his therapy. We'd talked about his family, his job, and his love for life.

The thing that has struck me the hardest was how unexpected this was. I last saw this patient exactly one week ago. As he left he simply said, "You keep that pool warmed up for me, and I'll be back at it in a week." He had no idea that this was coming. It has made me reflect on my life . . . if I died unexpectedly tomorrow, would I be happy with the life I've lived? Would I change anything? Have I told those closest to me that I love them? Ultimately I think the answer is yes, but I think I'm going to savor each day a little more--make the most it. I'm going to try a little harder, and live a lot more.